My contribution to the Google bomb.

2006-10-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

--AZ-Sen: Jon Kyl

--AZ-01: Rick Renzi

--AZ-05: J.D. Hayworth

--CA-04: John Doolittle

--CA-11: Richard Pombo

--CA-50: Brian Bilbray

--CO-04: Marilyn Musgrave

--CO-05: Doug Lamborn

--CO-07: Rick O'Donnell

--CT-04: Christopher Shays

--FL-13: Vernon Buchanan

--FL-16: Joe Negron

--FL-22: Clay Shaw

--ID-01: Bill Sali

--IL-06: Peter Roskam

--IL-10: Mark Kirk

--IL-14: Dennis Hastert

--IN-02: Chris Chocola

--IN-08: John Hostettler

--IA-01: Mike Whalen

--KS-02: Jim Ryun

--KY-03: Anne Northup

--KY-04: Geoff Davis

--MD-Sen: Michael Steele

--MN-01: Gil Gutknecht

--MN-06: Michele Bachmann

--MO-Sen: Jim Talent

--MT-Sen: Conrad Burns

--NV-03: Jon Porter

--NH-02: Charlie Bass

--NJ-07: Mike Ferguson

--NM-01: Heather Wilson

--NY-03: Peter King

--NY-20: John Sweeney

--NY-26: Tom Reynolds

--NY-29: Randy Kuhl

--NC-08: Robin Hayes

--NC-11: Charles Taylor

--OH-01: Steve Chabot

--OH-02: Jean Schmidt

--OH-15: Deborah Pryce

--OH-18: Joy Padgett

--PA-04: Melissa Hart

--PA-07: Curt Weldon

--PA-08: Mike Fitzpatrick

--PA-10: Don Sherwood

--RI-Sen: Lincoln Chafee

--TN-Sen: Bob Corker

--VA-Sen: George Allen

--VA-10: Frank Wolf

--WA-Sen: Mike McGavick

--WA-08: Dave Reichert

Mmm, lesbians.

2006-10-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

This might never have happened had I not read this post, so that's where you can address your letters of complaint.

The post is about how it's important not to write off all porn because most of it is soul-crushing misogynistic bullshit, and some people got to talking about what kind of porn they like and what they like about it and what disgusting pervs they are or aren't for it, but hell if you'll see me speaking up there. I suggest stopping here if you find your knowledge of my sexual proclivities perfectly adequate.

I like lesbians. Just like a straight boy. No, I mean, exactly like a straight boy. I don't like the lesbian porn that's made by girls for girls. It does nothing for me. I like the kind that's made for straight boys. The kind where the women are obviously, unashamedly doing it for the attention. Wait, it gets better. I prefer the airbrushed professional $29.95 a month shit (not that I ever have or will venture beyond the free samples) over the dorm room YouTube variety. Not that I don't like the YouTube shit for what it is; you just never get to see anything.

What I don't like is watching two people have sex with each other for real. That's not something I need to be there for. If they're doing it for each other, then other people are in the way. I don't like porn advertised as real sex, because where I come from real sex doesn't involve audiences (which might not be where everyone comes from). I like the kind of porn where the performers are fucking the audience a hell of a lot more than the people they're touching. When they're forced to do it or don't enjoy it, it ruins the fun. When they're pretending not to enjoy it for their audience's benefit, it grosses me out. When they're being hurt, whether it's real or staged, it makes me feel miserable and hate humanity. I like the kind of porn where everyone's in on the game. I get off on people who get off on attention. I think that's the difference between liking porn and being a voyeur. Voyeurs get off on the objects of their lust not knowing they're being watched, not being involved in the voyeur's enjoyment. It's not openly hostile like rape porn, but it's a little more defensive than I like.

The great joke of the patriarchy, of course, is that women are supposed to pretend to like performing for men, because they couldn't possibly really like it. Hell, if you think of sex as a duty women do for men, you must think they really hate not even getting dinner out of it. And women must do this for men, because men are helpless and weak and need the attention women would never give them if they weren't forced to. Patriarchy ruins porn the way it ruins sex, by telling men they're unworthy of women's attention but they're entitled to it anyway, and by telling women their job as women is to give up their own happiness to make men happy. If women weren't being objectified in real life as a matter of course, we could enjoy it in porn the way it's meant to be enjoyed, and women who enjoy performing could do so without worrying about their own or their audiences' hangups. Hell, men who might like being objectified could experience that pleasure because they'd know it exists. It would be anarchy.

Let your voice be heard. Don't win a free car.

2006-09-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

What is the greatest threat to America today?

From the Skeptic's Dictionary

2006-09-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

Pyramidiocy is characterized by having an outlandish, farfetched theory about the origin, nature or purpose of the Egyptian pyramids.