Empowerful.

Joss Whedon has gotten a lot of well-deserved shit over the years for his particular Nice Guy approach to feminism, wherein a dude feels entitled not to sex but to legitimate feminist cred for being Nice. Not knowing the guy personally, and having no interest in reading the many, many things he's had to say about himself and his philosophy, I don't know if he honestly believes that being a leather-clad dominatrix is empowering for women. However, I have a feeling he knows his audience does. And I guess if it's so important to you to feel like a Real Feminist that women totally like and respect that you don't mind completely ignoring what women have to say about it, you might be able to convince yourself that you're a feminist because you think it would be hot to be speared on the end of Eliza Dushku's stiletto. Not that that's a specific thought I've had or anything.

But I'm not going to sit here and say it's equally unfeminist to fantasize about trussing up a woman like a pig and spitting in her face and having her tie you to a chair and pretend to interrogate you. I'm not some kind of ideological purist. I do think our sexual fantasies say something about us as people, even if some of what they say is what we absolutely Do Not Want to happen in real life. Sometimes things really are sexy because omg so wrong. When a man actually gets off on stupidity, loathsomeness, and indignity in women, when his orgasm literally needs it, I'm ready to write him off. I'm not equally ready to do that for everyone.

At the end of the day, I think a lot of geeky Nice Guy fantasies are kind of endearing. I share some of them. I don't think having those fantasies makes anyone a bad person. I do think forgetting where you are and who you're talking to means you've embarrassed yourself, continuing to do it once you're aware of your mistake makes you a sad idiot, and loudly and angrily defending your right to wave your cock around in public because fuck everyone else makes you a straight-up asshole.

If I were to judge, I would put Whedon himself somewhere between "embarrassment" and "well-meaning idiot," which I think is a predictable enough result of being so sheltered by your fans and your fame that you don't always remember to put pants on before you leave the house. I do think he's pretty feminist, especially when he's not trying really hard to be, and there are worse things than wanting to be admired for being a good person. But his fans are scattered all over the spectrum, and a good number of them don't seem to realize that.